a letter to the state

Dear Utah,

Since coming to live among the everlasting hills, I have been flabbergasted on more than many occasions when confronted with the weirdness that comes from the people living here. Our roughly three years here have shown us that people are out of their minds. Be it the ridiculous hair styles, the clothes, the superficial attitudes (I spelled 'attidudes...a new noun maybe?), the certifiably insane people bearing testimony about their famous, secret, Hollywood fame, the lies, deceit, and angst of anyone and everyone around me. Maybe my perspective is biased...when you hate your job as much as I do, your opinion of people in general deteriorates at an alarming speed. That's a lot of hate. But the one thing that has stuck out every day since moving here are the drivers.

The drivers are so awful that everyone has learned to adapt to the madness. Everyone has learned that after the light turns green, you must still wait for the people from the last cycle to run the red light for at least 3 seconds after your light has turned. MADNESS. Even for someone who actually knows and obeys traffic laws, like myself (ahem, perhaps not always the speed limit...), I have to avoid a major accident by waiting for the nimrods to run their stupid red light. Yes. The rage rages. 

They also do this thing where, when they're turning, they pretty much have to stop in the middle of the road. Come to a full and complete stop, hold up traffic, and cause me to almost rear-end them because they can't complete a turn in motion. I die. Every day I die.

I carpool to school every night with a fun classmate, and she and I rage together. Since neither of us grew up in this crazy place, we both know how traffic is supposed to run. I'm pretty sure we feed off of each others' rage, but we agree that this place is nuts. 

Anyway, this classmate has made me aware of something. Something almost more disturbing than the red lights. Here it is: 

That's right. On a regular basis, NO ONE pulls all the way up to the line. And it's not just a few feet either. There are sometimes whole car lengths between the car next to me and the line. This wouldn't be a big deal, except for what the above picture illustrates. And so, to prove this doesn't just happen once in awhile, I've begun to document my experiences. These are all taken from my phone (while stopped at a light, so everyone remain calm), with no editing, and all happened on different days. Judge for yourselves.

The struggle is real people. The struggle is real. And so for any of you that are Utahns born and raised, I think I deserve an apology. And if you were unaware of this, you're probably a perpetuating factor. Repent. Teach people how to drive properly. Be an example of the believers of good, smart, courteous driving. 

Thus, the countdown to the time we have left in this silly place is beginning. This time next year, we're on our way out. The light is there at the end of the tunnel. Thank you, God. You've helped me through. 

With love,
Someone who has had enough of this ridiculousness.